Subject: Universal Grade Change Form (and more) (fwd)

A lawyer was crossexamining a physician and asked, "Did you take the man's
pulse to determine that he had died" The physician responded "No".  "Did you
listen to his heart to determine that he had died?" and again the physician
responded "No".  The lawyer then pressed the physician, "Then, HOW did you
assess whether the patient had died?"  The physician replied, "Well, his brain
was sitting in a jar on my desk but I suppose he could have been out
practicing law!"

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                         UNIVERSAL GRADE CHANGE FORM
                        ____________________University

To: Professor____________________ From:___________________________

I think my grade in your course,___________________, should be
changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons:

______1.    The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than
            I did.
______2.    The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than
            I did.
______3.    This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't
            get into L
            ______Medical School          ______Graduate School
            ______Dental School           ______My Fraternity/Sorority
            ______The Mickey Mouse Club   ______Tri County Tech
______4.    I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in
            _______________.
______5.    I'll lose my scholarship.
______6.    I'm on a varsity sports team and my tutor couldn't find a
            copy of your exam.
______7.    I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used
            did not cover the materisal asked for on the exam.
______8.    I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every
            little fact.
______9.    I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams
            asked about general principles.
_____10.    You are prejudiced against:
            ______Males         ______Jews          ______Blacks
            ______Females       ______Catholics     ______Whites
            ______Protestants   ______Moslems       ______Minorities
            ______Chicanos      ______People        ______Students
_____11.    If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or
            at least cut my allowance.
_____12.    I was unable to do well in this course because of the
            following illness:
            ______mono                  ______broken baby finger
            ______acute alcoholism      ______pregnancy
            ______VD                    ______fatherhood
_____13.    You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly
            how you wanted that done.
_____14.    I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull.
_____15.    I don't have a reason; I just want a higher grade.
_____16.    The lectures were:
            ______too detailed to pick out important points
            ______not explained in sufficient detail
            ______too boring
            ______all jokes and not enough material
            ______all of the above
_____17.    This course was:
            ______too early, I was not awake.
            ______at lunchtime, I was hungry
            ______too late, I was tired
_____18.    My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my
            (book, notes, paper) for this course.
_____19.    Other___________________________________________________

                      .__________________________.
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